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Matthew Moore
Matthew Moore

Free Shemale Party

Alex Cheves tells you how to do it in groups. In the beginning, we found thirds. My boyfriend and I hit the bars seeking guys we both thought were cute. The only problem with that, of course, is that it's hard to agree on things as a couple -- guys included. After we separated, I became the third guy and played with couples across the country. When jealousy flared up, I bowed out. Then I tried small groups. Then bigger groups. Then my first sex club. I liked the freedom and camaraderie of playing with others without pressure or expectation. It's not a relationship. It's a sex party.

free shemale party

That led me to large dance/play parties, events with hundreds of guys in attendance: sweat fests and dark dance floors with slings off to one side. Sometimes the party is one giant sex party. Sometimes the backroom/play area is tucked away near the bathrooms -- a lights-out area you have the option of entering. No matter the specifics, you're there to play. Get past your notions about who attends them (you'll meet pros and first-timers, kinky and vanilla, old and young) and go to one.

Every sex party is different. It may be in a guy's apartment, in a venue (warehouse, sex club, bathhouse), or in a semi-permanent, privately owned meetup space (a guy's apartment he uses frequently for sex parties).

If you're going to a house party or apartment, ask what the condom policy is beforehand. If you go to a bareback party and pull out condoms, you'll kill the mood, and may be asked to leave. If the party is condom-only and you show up ready to play bare, you may also be asked to leave.

If you're going to a venue, you're essentially free to do as you choose. Some venues are required by state laws to provide condoms and make them visible. Some even have signs saying you "must" use them, but I've played in venues in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Palm Springs, Seattle, Chicago, Dallas, Atlanta, New Orleans, Washington D.C., and New York City, and have never been told by a staffer to wrap up. Even if a venue's promotional material implies bareback sex, most of them have complimentary condoms available.

Tall socks are an easy place to keep your ID, credit card, cash, poppers, lube, and other small essentials -- especially when you're in a jockstrap or naked from the knee up. Some venues offer clothing checks (if it's an apartment party, see number 54). Even if you check your stuff, you'll need to keep your check ticket in your sock.

Wear old clothes that you don't mind stuffing into a locker that hasn't been cleaned since the last guy. If you're attending a leather, rubber, or some kind of fetish gear party, you may wear your attire there. Most gear parties will have clothing checks, which you should take advantage of if you don't feel like calling Uber in full-body yellow rubber.

I bring one every time. Small drawstring shoulder bags are easy to check. If there's no check, you can wear it. If I hop in a sling, I slipknot my bag to the sling. A drawstring shoulder bag is my #1 sex party essential item.

Sex clubs have expected mess. If you get lube all over a rubber mattress in a private sex room, wipe it off before leaving. Someone else wants to use it after you. If you're at an apartment party, always clean up after yourself -- it's extremely disrespectful to your host to leave a mess, and you risk not getting invited back.

Rejection will happen. When it happens one-on-one, it stings. When it happens in a group, you can look see the guys who are interested and play with them. It's nothing personal and nothing to worry about. Play with the guys who click with you, or leave and go to the next sex party. There is always another one happening somewhere.

If you're in a bad spot and swiping some cash is something you're considering, a sex party is not the place to be. I've been in scary spots in unfamiliar cities, but stealing can make a bad situation much worse. It can land you in jail.

Most venues have zero tolerance for drugs. You may still find drugs there, and finding drunk/high people is almost a guarantee, but bringing substances into the venue is a massive risk -- one that can get you permanently banned or arrested. If you're going to a private party, ask the host what the drug policy is. Some sex parties are sober-only. Others welcome certain drugs (like alcohol) but not others. Some sex parties are oriented around specific drugs. Ask explicitly what will be happening at the party before you go.

Things happen. He says there are four guys present, then you show up and there's forty. Sometimes you're told it's "drug-free," then you walk in and see guys using. Someone you walk in and come face-to-face with your ex-boyfriend. Sometimes you walk in and come face-to-face with your current (monogamous) boyfriend fucking someone. Sometimes you walk in and come face-to-face with that guy you went on a date with and it was awful, and you never texted him back. Have an exit strategy.

If you don't feel comfortable turning and leaving without a word, compose a pre-packaged excuse -- "I need to go pick up a friend from another party and take him home, apparently there's drama" -- and gather your things. Whatever you do, don't cause a scene. Neither an official venue nor someone's apartment is the proper place to have an outburst.

They may be having a bad high. Or they may be new and uncomfortable. This may be their first sex party. Whatever the cause, if someone appears to be upset, overdosing, disoriented, dehydrated, or otherwise in need of assistance, help them. It's human decency.

Two key risks in taking unregulated compounds (street drugs) is that you never know what you're taking, and you don't know how they'll interact with each other. These risks are true of all illicit substances, regardless if you use them at a sex party or your grandmother's Sunday luncheon. It's important to know that these risks are real.

Don't let the reality of drugs dissuade you from sex parties. Many sex parties are drug-free. Many more are not. If you make sex parties a regular part of your weekends, you will encounter substances. Some guys live in fantasies pretending drugs don't exist, or that they can be avoided by staying away from "those people." These guys contribute to a culture of erasure and stigma in which our brothers suffer, unaided and misunderstood.

If you're going to a kinky dungeon party and a submissive is tied and gagged and getting fucked by a group of guys, ask who is his dominant before fucking him, since his consent has been handed over to someone else. By being in that situation, some degree of consent has been forfeited -- handed over -- by him to someone else, so ask permission of the person it's been given to. If there is no dominant, and he's there by his own volition, he's still forfeiting a degree of consent (especially if he's blindfolded), but if he says stop, you must stop.

Kinky sex parties are awesome, but they get complicated. Respecting collar code, for example, is something only kinky people with some experience in the scene will understanding (locked collar mean's he's off-limits and you must ask his partner or handler before playing with him -- unlocked collar means he's free to do what he wants).

Even if you're completely comfortable, the sex may be lackluster or the chemistry not there. Maybe there's some sexual incompatibility that wasn't sussed out beforehand. No problem -- say thanks and dip out. It's never a good idea to wait and see if a party "picks up." It might, but it probably won't. Move on.

They don't know you. They haven't assigned you a role. If you're a bottom who wants to top, or if you're dominant curious about submission, try it at a sex party. There's no commitment, no history, no partner you have to please (unless, of course, you go with your partner). You can always leave if you're not having fun.

If you're not having a good time, leave. Let everyone keep playing, step outside, and find another sex party; get in your car, hop on the subway, call an Uber, and arrange your plans somewhere else. Or go home and get sleep. Don't stay hooked on your phone when other guys are in your vicinity and ready to play.

If there is one, sign up. If you're at an official sex club or venue, their emails will alert you of special nights, which always draw better turnout that regular weeknights. A special DJ may be coming, or it may be a special monthly bareback party (like CumUnion, which happens across the country; look and see if there's a CumUnion in your city). Some regular sex parties at private spaces also have email or text lists to keep guys in the loop.

You don't have to get to know anyone. They don't have to get to know you. You can be as forthcoming as you want to be, or as closed-off as you want to be. Many guys find their best sexual performance happens in pressure-free, expectations-free sex parties.

If you don't perform how you want to perform (if his dick is too big and you simply can't take it; if you promised to fuck five bottoms but only make it through three) you can call it quits with no problem. It's a sex party -- there's nothing to lose, no one you have to impress.

If you've been hopping from party to party all night and feel fatigue, stop. Go home. Sleep. There is always another -- you're not missing out. If you try to power through exhaustion, sex parties have a tendency to get miserable.

First, get some sleep -- you'll need it. Then go to a movie, or go for a run. Walk in the park. Go to a bookstore. Go to a coffee shop and read. Get out of "sex party" headspace -- turn off your phone if necessary.

You need to change your headspace. Sex parties are sensory overload, and the intensity can quickly become too much. You can keep chasing the thrill needlessly for periods after the party is over if you don't switch off. Take time to be human again. Decompress. Do something else. Meet up with friends.

You'll burn out. If you live in a big city, there may a gay sex party happening every day -- even multiple times a day. Even if you have great experiences, that's fine -- just don't try to attend them all. Don't attend sex parties every weekend, or even every other weekend. I know many guys who've gotten stuck in the "sex party lull." Sex parties are easy and available and don't require much work, so they can become your default sex mode. Keep evolving in sex, and try new things. If you've been hitting party after party for a few months, try one-on-one experiences for a bit. Explore new kinks. Take a sex break. Break it up. 041b061a72

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